He's snapped at Adam and I several times, like, aggressively,
I honestly have a really hard time wrapping my head around a 4 month old dog being truely aggressive. I will be honest, I don't know the whole story about where he came from, but to me, any dog with any issues this young can be very quickly worked with. It really really breaks my heart that someone would give up on a dog this young, and write it off because "someone else out there will deal with it." YOU got this dog. YOU need to seek the help to deal with it.
Chesney snapped at my husband around that age, and it was all a matter of her not knowing any better than to think she's the boss. We did some nothing in life is free training, and poof, all better. I really hope that you seek other options than dumping this puppy.
he's food aggressive (with both the other dogs AND myself),
Very very easy to work with. (why are you messing with him while he eats, anyway? sheesh) Definately NOT grounds to get rid of a puppy. I mean, come on, he's young, and his issues all seem pretty typical and easy enough to work with. I'm bothered that getting rid of him has been even thought of.
he has snapped at the other two dogs several times when they come to visit him in his crate, yet he feels entitled to come into their crates. Not only that, but my dogs just don't know how to teach him how to be a dog. They're way too submissive.
Dogs do not have the logical thinking power to fathom the "golden rule." Your dogs shouldn't so much as put their nose in his crate. it's his. He should not be putting his nose in your other dog's crates. It's theirs. This sounds like a situation in which you as the pack leader need to step in and show him where he can and can not be. It is not your rasident's dogs responsibility to train this puppy. They did not rush out and get him. They did not bring him into your home. They did not ask for a new sibling. YOU did, and you need to jump on the training.
I feel that trying to take dominance over him is making him even more stand-offish, too. I don't think a dominant dog would be suitable for my family, especially not given Amaya's history with other dominant dogs, because she's already shy when it comes to meeting other dogs, and it's hard to get her to play.
It sounds to me like he just needs boundaries, and he needs you to show them to him in an entirely non threatening way. I really think that members of this forum can really help you work through his issues and make him a wonderful dog. You just have to remember to not ask him to go against natural instincts, but rather to make him want to listen to you. "leave it" and "drop it" are probably the best commands to teach a dog that has yet to realize he's not the boss. In fact, those two commands are great for relationship building when taught properly as well, because you're showing them that if they listen to YOU, there's something in it for THEM, and it bypasses any aggression associated with resource guarding (food aggression)
I feel so bad, but I think we're going to take him back tomorrow. There will be someone out there to take Kuso and give him a wonderful home where they can work with him on this stuff, but I my main concern is finding another submissive dog that my dogs won't constantly be trying to find a way to get away from it, which they do.
Wait. YOUR MAIN CONCERN is not the welfare of this dog that YOU brought into your home, but rather dumping him and finding a different dog?
No no no no no. Please please don't do that. There is no perfect dog out there, there are many dogs and puppies that really just need boundaries and guidence, and if you can't work with this one how will you work with the next?
This is YOUR dog. YOUR decision. YOUR responsibility. Please, please think about that before you dump him for "someone out there" to deal with.
I find myself constantly putting Kuso in his crate to give my dogs a break, because they just don't know what to do, because he plays aggressively, too. He bites too hard, barks and growls at them, humps Amaya's face, and just tries to be overall dominant. It scares them. DX
Why not find yourself constantly correcting him instead, and praising him for proper behavior? By throwing him in his crate every time he annoys your other dogs, you're confusing him (growling, biting, and barking is not wrong for a dog. at all.) by punnishing him for something that comes so natural and is entirely normal in play (remember playing is one of two things: play fighting, or play hunting, so unless true blood is being drawn, don't step in) AND you're telling your other dogs that it's OK to be intolerent of things they don't like, AND if they are scared, by putting him away you're saying "Yes, he's scary, be afraid" and only reinforcing everything that is going on.
Anyways, what do you guys think?
I'm just reminding you that you asked what we thought. I really think that he just needs you to show him what's okay and what's not in a non threatening manner.
I must agree with Whiteleo, though... with as much as you come on here griping about what everyone on CL does and how they breed and dump their animals, it comes as a bit of a shock that you yourself are jumping into the dumping a puppy for no good reason category. But hey, at least you can spell, right? Because those people who can't are terrible.